Monday, November 26, 2007

Malaysian parents should be less conservative and more sensible

**situation 1**
Daughter : Mom can i go watch movies with my friend tomorrow?
Mom: NO! Didn't you just went out 2 days ago? You cannot go out so soon!

**situation 2**
Son : Dad im going over to the mamak stall in front to have a drink!
Dad: who says you can go out!? you stay at home and study!

Have you ever encountered this situation before? Now, what do you do when they do not let you out? do you study? No you end up sitting on the couch switching the channels on the TV and keep on wondering why is your life so boring.

Do you think your parents were right? Why do they say all that? Have you ever thought that in truth, your parents are just being not sensible? Parents are humans too, they make mistakes. It doesn't mean that what they say is always right.

But why do we keep on listening? because they are our parents. And we believe parents have a good reason for doing anything at all. Why not we think about the reasons ourself right now!? Come, since we are all buncha bored people and our parents do not let us out, let us figure it out together:P

Lets figure out the logic of why we cannot go out so often? Every single reason i can think of sounds dumb. Parents want us to stay at home and not go out too often because......
i cant think of a reason:P
WELL, why can't you!? YES,you went out two days ago! then what is wrong with going out again now? you stayed at home for the past 2 days, didnt you? then,you deserve to go out again then! nothing wrong with that! I mean,it was fine to go out 2 days ago, they let you, what is wrong with doing so again now!? It is not like you are going to commit a crime!

Some parents say it is a waste of money to go out so often.Well, then parents should give their children pocket money monthly, then, let them spend it wisely. If they go out too often, they will be out of money, no? This way, they also learn how to manage their finance better. See, we actually found reasons why going out is important, compared to NOT going out, coz it certainly serves no purpose!

Parents are afraid that if you go out too often, you might mix with the wrong gang and do the wrong stuff. THEN, get to know your children's friends! Talk to them, find out who they going out with, organize a small party and invite her friends over, get to know her friends, if you really do not trust your kids so much, then you should get to know the people they hang out with. If you do not like them, then you can advise your kids. If you like them, then what is wrong with going out?

Parents believe that giving too much freedom to their children can be misused. But in truth, controlling the kids can cause worst effects. They want to hang out, but they know their parents do not let. So what do they do? They lie, they say they have extra class in school, or they will skip tuition classes to go out. I mean, isn't this worst? lack of freedom ALWAYS causes your child to rebel at the back of you! Do you want your child to turn out to be a pro liar?

Some parents treat their 18 year old kids no different than their 12 year old. Parents often have a tough time accepting the fact that their children are now young adults. Imagine a 21 year old person cannot go out to a movie because her mom doesn't let her ( dont laugh, there is such a person). HELL, you can already vote when you are 21! they let you decide the fate of the country at that age, and you listen to your mom when she asks you to stay at home for no apparent reason?

What about having a boyfriend/girlfriend!? Now this is an interesting topic. People couple up even at the age of 13,heck,even younger (monkey love,but still:P). Now, why does a 17,18,19 year old teenage cannot have a boyfriend? why do your parents do not let you? they worry your studies will drop? then, prove to them it wont! Teenage age is the right age to mix around with the opposite sex, get to understand this love thingy more and learn about life more. And falling in love is part of the process of growing up, and i know you guys know it as well. Why do your parents not let you?

Parents expect you to listen to everything they say. Even when you know they are wrong, you quietly obediently listen. If you believed you have grown up, you know what is wrong and what is right, then why not make a move and tell your parents your opinion? You might argue they might not listen and they might nag and argue back...do they do that? So, now your parents just demonstrated how much of respect they actually have for your own opinion. You guys ain't dolls, you are smart and you know what is right, then why do the wrong thing?

WHY WHY WHY WHY!? i asked that question SOO MAANY times today. In the end, we can easily come to conclusion. Some parents are just not sensible. WHAT is the word that will prove us the solution. WHAT can we do? rebel. yeaps, you heard me. Do not Rebel by throwing things around and being childish, rebel smartly. Prove to your parents that you have grown up, you know what is right and wrong. If your parents say you cant go out for no apparent reason,ask them why. If they cant answer and they give the nagging method with the useless " i am your mother you listen!" answer, fight back. Fight back politely, keep your voice low, be smart. And most importantly, never be afraid. What is the worst they can do? Cut your allowance? if you aren't going out, why do you even need them:P? They gonna slap you? you are a teenager, will slap really hurt so much? the best answer when they just are so stubborn and insist you to follow their way for no apparent reason, give the answer " how childish you are".
it stings:P

Don't say you don't want to hurt your parents, cause they certainly never think twice before hurting you did they?

For parents, you need to learn to accept the fact that your children are growing up. They need more space and freedom to discover who they are. Shutting them in your small world is not a good idea, give them the freedom they desire, but do not make it excessive and monitor them. If you do your job right, you will have a happy family:)

Yeah right, you can say i am a spoilt brat who just hates his parents. Nopez, i love my parents. They let me do ANYTHING i want. I don't smoke, I don't drink, in fact, i believe i have been a pretty good kid back then:) Parents gave me the freedom to do what i want at the age of 15, and i have never misused it. Educate you're kids and trust them, it would not be so hard.

Being a parent is hard job. You got to constantly worry about your children all the time. But they will grow up, learn to be more independent and be able to think smartly and take care of themselves if they are given the freedom to do so. Guys, if you're parents are the conservative type, i suggest you start doing some adjustments in your life:)

25 comments:

SuN said...

*turns back searching for mom*
MOOOMMM~!!! Hey there's this really cool article! read it!! you want me to forward it to your mail???

Anonymous said...

i cant help objecting most of the things u said!!! i told u not to be too biased, havent i???

first of all, look through your parents eye. yes, they are humans too. they make mistakes too. but we should never neglect the fact that they have lived at least double our years. trust them when they say 'I have seen more than you'.

why cant we go out so often?
1. mixing with wrong friends
-true, they should get to know their children's friends. but ask yourself. when your mum asks you, 'hun, who are u going out with later?' you'd be so annoyed u'd probably say, 'dont u trust me? i'm adult i know how to choose my friends!'
2. waste money
-now, dont we? we see things that attract us and we tend to buy it. (girls! listen to this! XD)
3. its dangerous out there
-considering the sudden increase of crime rates, dont our parents worry like shit when we go out? stop the story of fate. going out less decreases our chance of encountering dangers.
4. procrastination
-we can always go out to relax, just play around. but laziness doesnt stop, it continues and overpowers us stronger than we thought.

too much freedom isnt good, when the kid isnt disciplined. though its true that we need to fall to learn to get up, parents try to lessen the number of us falling so that we wont suffer so much pain.

it is true, that some parents are very controlling. but i believe its the fact that we youngsters arent showing any good examples that can lead our parents to trust us. it's our safety and future that they care.

understand them before demanding them to understand us. rebel? yes, as what vi says, rebel wisely, but *NOT*, i repeat. NOT to the point that u hurt them. if u complain so much of them hurting u, arent you being the same when u hurt them? wake up kids. being parents aint easy, especially when dealing with rebellious modernised young adults like us. we never know when do they silently cry because they worry of us too much.



~words from a young rebellious woman who gains 99% trust from parents with 99% freedom because she tells them 99% truths all the time and she gives 99% effort to understand parents burden.~

Garden said...

hmmm...
2 people with so much freedom yet think so differently? interesting..

regarding the things u said,
1) i gave the answer.plus,the point is to get to know your child's friends.if he doesn't want to introduce them, then you SHOULD restrict them!

2) waste money? again,monthly pocket money.how you wanna spend it is your choice,already explained.

3) dangerous? everywhere is,even your own house. but staying at home and not going out so often, you will not be more alert to the dangers around you,because you become more alert.How often does a person get snatched twice? its becoz after the first, they SUDDENLY became smart and be more alert,no? im not saying you should be snatched first,but being more alert helps.And staying at home isnt going to help that.
4) procastination, nothing got to do with freedom.thats the kids own dumb fault.

Too much freedom can be not good,but lack of freedom isnt either. too much or too little of something is not good, and excuses like " you went out once this week,how can you go out again" is a common thing i hear EVERYWHERE!! and i am talking about this lack of freedom,as there is no sense to it.

Anonymous said...

1. now, then why are u complaining parents restrict their children so much? XDDDD i can bet in 3 out of 5 kids, they dun like when parents ask details of their friends~

2. but parents are worried when u are broke. u might get stranded at some place (happened to my fren who is so smart got lost in bandar utama with no money 2 take cab home and no hp credit XDDD!!!) might as well control their children's expense than worrying if they have to survive without money right~?

3.see?? u're giving me the fact edy!! >.< prob is, staying at home, u know every corner so well u can find things to protect urself~ and there's gate and telephone~ and sometimes when there's other ppl at home, they can take better care of u~ and hell, there are ppl stupid enuf to kena twice -.- i know some myself =.=""""" then being alert will never occur to us until we kena~ so might as well straight away reduce the chance of kena! =D

4. i'm saying that procrastination is one of parents' reason not to let their kids out since u cant think of any~! XDDDDD and i think parents can reduce this by forcing their kids to stay at home? ask ann, she's restricted 2 go out so much she ends up studying at home and become one of the top students XDDDD!!!

i duno bout the 'go out last week edy, this week kenot!' thing~ maybe it's another way of parents to say 'u've made me worried enough last week. not this week please.'? XD i duno XDDD i cant figure a better way to judge this XD but i guess in the end they just want their kids to go out less~

Garden said...

you really supporting the parents on this..

so your conclusion is,parents should not give freedom to their kids?
is that it:P??

and if you are online,why on earth are you not on MSN coz i am SHIT BORED!!

Anonymous said...

erm i dont entirely support parents on this but i just see that your judgement towards parents in this topic is very biased =\

i believe they'd know when to let us go when we've proven ourselves worthy enough to get their trust ;) believe me, i didnt get my freedom just like that~

and no!! after replying to you, i slept!!! XD and i need to study!! >.<

Garden said...

that is exactly my point tootoo:P

teenagers should prove to their parents that they are capable of handling their freedom correctly.

and luckily someone teman me earlier,thank you wanyuan:)!
i was so bored wei just now!

Anonymous said...

nope... except for the last paragraph which doesnt really convey the msg as well, i cant see anything with , 'kids, wake up and stop blaming your parents. grow up.'

and this, Don't say you don't want to hurt your parents, cause they certainly never think twice before hurting you did they?, gives me hell of a shock~ its wrong! >.<

prove me wrong, show me evidences from your text (except for para11 and parts of para14) that you are asking teenagers to prove to their parents than asking parents to wake up =)

**omg i'm sounding like my lit lecturer liao!! ToT and u'll bored for few more days because my lit mocks are round this corner ToT damn stressed up ToT

Anonymous said...

This post is very cool, liek its so true! haha. Keep up the good job :))

melinda aiko wong said...

i've been a bad kid. ^^;;

whether with freedom or not.

so...lol.

Anonymous said...

hello tootoo..
ann's bf here... u know how hurt she is when she is rejected by her parents for not being allowed to go out.. everytime she is trying her best to have an outing with me, in the end nothing works out & instead, HURT by her parents~~

that poor girl doesnt study much until she thinks she has to. she being aone of the top student is because she has her own method of studying.

& whenever she asked for permission to go out & ends up NO!
she'd be hurt for almost a day & maybe sleep,read(NOT STUDY) & laze around.

Garden said...

**points to sam's comment!**

SEE!!
SEE!!!!!!!


coming from him, now you know how sensible parents can be and they do not think twice before hurting you,over and over!!!!!!

exactly my point!!
rebel!

i think if they let people have a bit more freedom,then certainly by now she would be a MUCH more better student,no:P?

Anonymous said...

aiya you all, diff family diff values mah! diff ways the parents use to bring up their children.so dont argue la~swt''''

Anonymous said...

thank you mr anonymous~

and oh pls, i do have friends whom their parents verbally abuse them. but that doesnt make me agree to their acts of shutting their children from the world. if thats ann ann's case, so be it. i cannot comment on her parents because i dont know how they think and neither do you guys~ and hurt, comes in many forms. we adolescents may take it the other way while adults meant it another way~

be fair lah~ i'm just saying my major point that your entry is biased~ and hence, i rest my case.

do i sound serious here? =S sowree but math is making me... logical... XD hope to see you peeps soon~ =(

Anonymous said...

it's Miss anonymous.not mr.lol. polly here la,hahahhaa.wats wth d maths tootoo? exam nw? gd luck!!

Garden said...

LOOL!!!!

well,yeah,it does sound a bit bias now that i read it:P

LOL!!
good luck for exams tootoo!!!
faster finish then can go lepak:D!

Brian Lee said...

just let your parents see how well your middle finger(s) have grown.

take the car keys (if you have one) and fucking slam the door when you leave. don't have the balls? then stay at home and play game la.

my mom is the conservative one. I've had problems with her. and in my gang i've been labeled the Cinderella (is this how u spell it?) but hey, i'm proud of what I'm now. now that i've gained my wings, i've also gained a few perspective why my mom have always been my mom.

restrictions isnt that a big deal. put ur self in their shoes. would you let your kids go out at nite especially with crime rate reaching sky high?

Think kids! use your blardy brains!

petitmonstre said...

vishul y u never update for so long?

Anonymous said...

How bout the fact parents r de one de money provider?
De one who controls de finance dept is de one who makes de rules in de hse..
Like employee shud listen to boss, if not, no bonus~
Same concept..

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